


Lost and Found

by R_E_R6



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Day Out, Family Feels, Getting Together, Lost Kid, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Zoo, buck with kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23587210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_E_R6/pseuds/R_E_R6
Summary: On a trip to the zoo with Christopher, Eddie and Buck come across a lost child. Reuniting her with her mother leads to realisations about their own little family...“You didn’t deny it when she thought we were both Christopher’s dads,” Buck presses. His voice is armoured with determination as he scoots across the couch, closer to Eddie.Eddie finds himself watching the decreased space between their thighs as he avoids Buck’s gaze. He doesn’t know what he’ll blurt out if he looks into Buck’s eyes right now.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 688





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of a random prompt search on Tumblr, and I ended up writing this all at once instead of sleeping.
> 
> Prompt: You help a lost child find their parent together.
> 
> Number 38 on this meet-cute prompt list - https://50-item-writing-promptsumblr.com/post/181844119575/50-meet-cutes - (although Eddie and Buck already know each other in this fic)

It feels like a miracle that their day off coincides with the best weather of the week. It’s neither too hot nor too cold for the trip to the zoo that they’ve been promising Christopher for weeks. Nothing is as bright and sunny as the smile that has graced Christopher’s face all day though. Or Buck’s for that matter.

Eddie watches as the two of them stare excitedly at the meerkats, practically playing whack-a-mole with their eyes as they dart between each one that pops up and runs around. They’ve been slowly making their way through all the enclosures for a few hours already and were on their way to grab some lunch before the two had both glued themselves to the side of the enclosure. 

“Eddie look, they’re so cool!” 

Eddie shakes his head at Buck’s childish glee, overcome with fondness. Buck turns to beams back at him as he speaks, only to stick his tongue out when he notices Eddie’s mocking eyebrow raise.

“They are,” he agrees, “are you boys ready for lunch or are you still caught up in your fascination?” 

As Eddie asks, he saunters up behind them to place a hand on each of their shoulders and peeks between their heads. Buck had picked up Christopher around ten minutes beforehand, so their faces are directly either side of his own as he rests his chin on Buck's shoulder to peer at the meerkats. He can’t deny that they are pretty fun to watch. 

He watches them for a few moments too until he feels Buck's penetrating gaze against the side of his face and turns to face him, silently asking what’s up with a slight upward tilt of his chin. Buck’s blue eyes stare back at him, so close that they fill the entirety of his gaze, before Buck closes them and shakes his head a little.

“Nothing, just uh, thinking about lunch too,” Buck stammers, before leaning his head past Eddie’s to address Christopher, “you ready to get some food, buddy?”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow at Buck’s odd behaviour, but he doesn’t comment. Instead he takes a step back, sliding his chin off of Buck’s shoulder and turning to poke his son’s side as he remains distracted by the animals. It has him squirming with a giggle that gets both men smiling, breaking the minor tension that had formed. 

“Christopher don’t ignore Buck, please” Eddie reminds him gently, satisfied as Christopher nods and turns his attention to Buck.

As Buck repeats the question and gets the go-ahead to continue their search for food, Eddie wipes at his eyes in the hopes it’ll stop them from wandering to the way the light highlights Buck’s blond hair like a halo. It’s days like this, when they’re out with Christopher just as a couple would with their child, that make it harder for Eddie to ignore his ever-growing feelings for his best friend. It’s almost torturous how domestic it feels, but he can’t bring himself to stop. Not when Christopher loves their time together so much. Especially not when Eddie enjoys it just as eagerly.

His love for Buck had snuck up on him, a glowing light flickering in the shadows of his heart. He hadn’t seen it, having long since shut the door to that particular room and dashed the key into the raging river of grief that gushed through him the day Shannon had died. He never thought he’d open that door again and let anyone in, but it seems Buck had snuck in at some point before he’d ever clicked the chains in place. 

He’d settled there at some point during their friendship, even before Shannon had come back into their lives. And there he stayed, just a spec of the endless ray of sunshine that is Evan Buckley. He hadn’t dimmed in the darkness, not for a second. He’d kept Eddie going, and kept Christipher going, saving them both time and time again even after their rocky hardships. 

During that time the little fragmented light inside Eddie had grown and expanded. It became brighter and stronger until it all but dried up the river, shining valiantly through the cracks forming in that steel door. His feelings for Buck grew too large for captivity. They had suddenly burst through and made themselves known one night, as Eddie found himself yet-again smiling at a text from the younger man. Once that fiery ball of love and passion had burst free, Eddie couldn’t dim it. He couldn’t deny it, or hide it from himself. Not that he tried too hard, or at all really, he hadn’t wanted to.

He still doesn’t; he just wishes he could have some confirmation that Buck might feel the same way. Some sign of hope, to suggest they might have a life together, would be perfect. 

“Come on Eddie, don’t tell me you’re distracted now, man.”

Buck’s light chuckle pulls Eddie from his thoughts, his efforts to control his admiring eyes proving useless as they, once again, automatically find Buck and caress over his face. It takes him a second for the words to catch up to him, and he quickly nods, walking past the two to lead the way as they head towards the food court. Christopher and Buck follow close behind him, close enough that he can hear their hushed conversation.

“Daddy’s being weird, Buck,” comes Christopher’s voice, slightly too loud to be classified as the whisper he so clearly intends it to be. 

Eddie can hear the smile in Buck’s playful tone as he replies, “I think it’s the hunger, you know how Daddy gets when we don’t feed him.” 

It gets a giggle from Christopher that collapses completely into laughter when Buck starts jogging slowly, bouncing Christopher up and down as he does, in order to close the small distance between them. His shoulders brush against Eddie’s when he finally lets himself catch up and resettles Christopher on his hip. Between the warmth of the sun, the tingle that spreads from where they touch, and the music of his son's joy, Eddie can’t help but notice how perfect the day feels. They feel like a family. 

It’s cooler in the food court and Eddie relishes in the shade as Buck collects their food, allowing him to remain behind with Christopher at their table. Eddie’s glad, he hadn’t brought a bottle of water for himself when he’d packed Christopher’s things and had quickly grown tired in the heat and crowds. Buck, however, is his usual endlessly energetic self and seems completely unaffected despite carrying Christopher around. It’s almost as if the sun had only served to recharge his batteries. 

Eddie hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said Buck was exhausting that day in the grocery store, though he does regret saying it so maliciously. The truth is that Buck finds it equally as endearing as he does annoying. Buck always being so amped up and constantly moving makes Eddie’s head spin as he tries to keep up. IT makes Eddie feel old, sometimes, just watching him, which is ridiculous given that Buck is only a few years younger. He can’t even blame his own relative weariness on being a father, as Buck does his fair share of Christopher duty; a fact that only reminds Eddie of why he loves him so much.

As exhausting as it is, it’s also energising. Buck’s enthusiasm and perseverance is infectious, and there’s been many a time in which it’s kept Eddie going. Again, it’s another of the many reasons why Eddie loves him.

When Buck gets back with the food, Eddie wastes no time shoving his burger into his mouth. Buck scoffs at him and shares an exasperated look with Christopher, the pair judging him in synch. Eddie feels only a little betrayed when Christopher mirrors Buck then proceeds to start with his fries, just like Buck always does. It never fails to amaze Eddie how many of Buck’s habits Christopher has picked up over time. It seems, to Eddie, that Christopher takes after Buck more than himself some days. 

“Hey Dad, Buck, look,” Christopher says suddenly, eyes fixed on a spot behind Eddie. Buck follows his gaze, his eyes going soft, and Eddie turns too. 

Not too far behind him is a little girl, looking to be about three years old. She stands still amongst the hustle and bustle of the food court, just at the edge of the shade, looking over the crowd with glassy eyes. Eddie’s eyes flit around her, seeing no adults nearby that look like they could be with her. 

He’s up and moving before her first tear falls, her lip quivering when she doesn’t see what she’s looking for in the crowd. He moves towards her quickly, not even hesitating to tell Buck his plan, just trusting that he’ll watch Christopher unprompted. He slows as he reaches her, crouching as he moves so he’s approaching her head on. 

“Hey, sweetie, are you lost?”

She doesn’t answer at first, but she sniffles helplessly and Eddie has to resist the urge to wrap her in his arms and protect her from the world. It would only freak her out more to be approached in such a way by a stranger. 

“My name’s Eddie. I’m a firefighter, do you know what that is?” He asks, trying a different approach as he softens his voice.

She nods hesitantly, a few tears falling to the floor from where they were clinging to her chin. She opens her mouth and closes it before, finally, she says “you have a big red truck.”

“That’s right,” Eddie chuckles, “my friend Buck, over there, he’s also a firefighter. And that’s my son, Christopher, with him.”

He points to them as he speaks and she follows his finger. Buck quickly catches on, pasting on his sunshine smile as he gives a small, friendly wave.

“We came to the zoo together today. Are you here with someone?” 

The girl nods, voice croaking as she cries more. 

“My- my momma bringed me to see the tigers,” she sobs.

“That’s nice of her. She sounds like a pretty good momma, do you know where she is?”

The girl shakes her head, but doesn’t give any other details. Eddie sighs, feelings terrible for her as she stands practically shaking, auburn curls quivering with the force of her distress. He holds out a hand slowly in offering, making sure not to bring it too close to her.

“Would you like to come and sit with us and Christopher while we find her? I bet you’re pretty scared right now, huh? Maybe you’ll feel better if you weren’t alone.” As Eddie voices the suggestion, he makes sure to gesture again to Christopher in the hope that she might feel more comfortable with another child there. 

She stares at his hand a little longer, then flickers her wet eyes back to his face. It takes another few seconds of staring at each other, Eddie ensuring he keeps his expression as comforting as possible, before she gently places her shaking hand into his and takes a step closer. 

“Okay, see, now you’re not alone. Should we go and see Buck and Christopher? Then there will be even more of us to look for your momma.”

Her eyes sweep the food court again before she nods and allows Eddie to lead her over to their table. Buck is fully prepared and already in ‘little kid mode’ by the time they arrive. He’s turned sideways in his chair, facing them completely as they approach.

“Hello, sweetheart, what’s got you all sad, huh?” 

Unsurprisingly, she opens up a lot more easily to Buck and answers his question straight away with a hiccup.

“I lost my momma.”

“Oh no! Your momma is lost? Did she wander off? Adults can be silly sometimes. Eddie always gets lost.” 

Buck’s words pull a smile from the girl, who even giggles when she sees Christopher nodding along to Buck’s story. It lifts a weight that Eddie hadn’t even realised had settled onto his chest. He hates seeing kids upset. Now they just have to find her mother and everything will be okay. 

Eddie discreetly waves to get Buck’s attention, then points to an information desk nearby, indicating what he’s going to do. Buck nods, keeping the girl’s attention as Eddie slopes off to let them know they found a lost child. 

The staff at the desk haven’t received any word on a missing girl, but radio immediately, checking if anyone has reported her missing just in case. As they suspected, staff had yet to be informed, and Eddie’s head is overtaken by the image of the girl’s mother out there somewhere freaking out alone as she searches for her daughter, completely unaware that she’s safe. 

Their table isn’t far from the desk and the girl seems to have settled a lot. She’s even sitting at the table between Buck and Christopher as they help her complete one of those placemat colouring sets. Between their close proximity, her obvious comfort, and Eddie informing the staff that they are firefighters, the lady at the desk agrees that it would be less daunting for the girl to stay with them until they can locate her mother. Eddie nods his thanks, even going so far as to leave his phone number despite being two tables away, much to the lady’s amusement. 

Buck raises his eyebrows as he approaches, his shoulders slumping when Eddie shakes his head. The girl also looks up when Eddie sits across from them.

“Did you find momma?” She asks hopefully. Eddie’s heart drops as he shakes his head slowly.

“Not yet, but I told all the people with the walkie-talkies and they’re all looking for her,” Eddie promises, “I’m sure they’ll find her soon.”

She seems unsure, but Christopher perks up from beside her and puts a smile on her face as he says “just like secret agents.”

The prospect of a bunch of secret-agents with walkie-talkies on a mission to find her mother seems to placate her for now, and she quickly goes back to her colouring. After a few moments Eddie picks up a crayon to help, hoping the repetitive scrape against the page will help drown out his nerves. 

The idea of losing a child is terrifying, and though he know’s Christopher is here and safe with him, he can’t help but sympathise for the girl’s mother. He understands how easy it is to lose a kid in such a big place, it only takes a second to get seperated, and less than that for panic to set in. 

A comforting weight settles onto his shoulder and Eddie looks up to find Buck’s bright blue eyes radiating comfort. It’s intoxicating, and Eddie quickly relaxes under the attention. He finds himself calming down and focussing on keeping the girl, who he realises is called Sophia when Buck refers to her by name, content and occupied. It works; he’s easily able to forget his worries as Buck’s thumb rubs soothing circles on his collar bone, above the neckline of his shirt. The touch is settling, even if the room does seem to get hotter as the heat of Buck’s hand warms his skin. 

Buck is just as good at calming him down as he is looking after Christopher. That seems to extend to all kids, Eddie muses, as he notes how Easily Buck had gotten the girl to relax around them too. Eddie’s not surprised, he himself had damn near swooned at seeing how sweet Buck was with Sophia. 

They’re still colouring happily when they hear a relieved cry from the information desk.

“Sophia!”

The girls head whips around at the sound, eyes wide with excitement as she yells back. Buck and Eddie turn and notice the woman coming towards them with the lady from the desk, feeling her relief wash over all of them. 

“See, Eddie told you we’d find her,” Buck cheers gleefully, as he helps Sophia down from the chair so she can run and meet her mother. The older woman is the spitting image of the girl, both of their auburn curls splaying out as she lifts Sophia up and spins her around. Their bodies practically mould into one as they embrace each other tightly. 

Eddie’s heart melts at the sight, and he quickly stands to walk around the table. It seems he’s not the only one moved either; he sees Buck trying to discreetly wipe at his watery eyes as he stands too. Eddie knocks their shoulders together before placing an arm across Buck’s back to comfort him. They both see that Chris has also turned in his chair and they wear matching smiles of pride when he begins to clap and cheer at the reunion.

The comotion garners the mother’s attention and she turns, rushing forward to thank them. 

“Honestly, I just looked down and she was gone, I was so scared. Thank you so much for taking care of her.” 

Her words tumble from her mouth in a rush, tripping over each other as they fight their way out alongside her panicked breaths. Sophia giggles happily at her rambling, ecstatic to be back in her mother’s arms. 

“It’s no problem, honestly,” Eddie assures her, “there’s no need to thank us.”

“Yeah, we hope anyone would have done the same thing, especially if it was my kid missing.” 

Buck’s words have Eddie stilling, wishing that he wasn’t just generalising. If only he was talking about Christopher. If only the three of them could be a real family, maybe even make it four one day with a little girl of their own. 

Eddie can’t even pretend to deny that seeing Buck with Sophia hadn’t filled him with a more intense longing. He’d seen Buck with kids other than Christopher before, obviously, but never one that age. It reminds Eddie of those years he’d raised Christopher alone after Shannon left, before he’d met the one-eighteen and Buck had made it so much easier with all of his help and support. It makes him long to see it, to raise a child with Buck and see how he is with them at all ages. He'd make a fantastic father and Eddie yearns to be there to see it when it happens.

“Still, I was so worried she’d be alone and terrified. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. You two are a godsend.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that, we were basically just doing our jobs really,” Buck insists, chuckling when Sophia pipes up to inform her mother that they’re “fire agents”. Eddie cracks a smile too as she muddles the words, clearly having confused them during her earlier panic. 

“She means firefighters,” Chris whispers, hiding his mouth from Sophia as he corrects her.

Sophia’s mother chuckles before introducing herself as Helen. Buck introduces the both of them in return before ruffling his hand in Christopher’s hair.

“And this little guy, who decided to play big brother for a little while, is Christopher. He was a great help by colouring with Sophia and keeping her calm while we waited.”

“Well, in that case, thank you too, Christopher. I bet your dads are super proud of you.”

Time seems to slow around him as his body freezes. The hustle and bustle of the food court turns to a muffled hum as Eddie’s brain short-circuits, heart hammering away in his chest. Hearing Helen refer to Christopher as theirs, both of theirs, so casually, has Eddie feeling like he’s been sucker punched right out of his own body. 

He stands, dumbstruck and silent, as Buck finises up their conversation beside him. It’s not until they say their goodbyes to Helen and Sophia that Eddie snaps out of his daze, finally regaining control of his limbs just in time to wave as the words fall from his lips on autopilot. 

“You okay, Eddie?” Buck asks tentatively when the pair are out of sight, eyes filled to the brim with concern.

Eddie shakes himself out of his stupor to reply with an affirmation. Buck doesn’t seem to buy it, but he doesn’t say more. They’re finished with their food, so they quickly return their trays and make their way out of the food court to continue their stroll around the zoo. 

Eddie manages to keep his mind clear of his daydreams for the rest of the day as they scope out the rest of the animals. Buck also says nothing more about Eddie’s odd reaction, both too occupied with Christopher and their day. It’s not until they’re driving home that Eddie thinks of it again.

Buck is driving; his car had been blocking Eddie’s on the driveway that morning and it wasn’t worth the hassle of rearranging the cars when Buck already has a booster seat for Christopher. Chris had fallen asleep as soon as they’d gotten into the car to drive home, so silence now fills the empty space around them. 

That is until a niggling thought slips it’s way from Eddie’s mind and through his lips. 

“When Helen said we were both Christopher’s dads, you didn’t correct her”

It’s not a question exactly, but Buck reads the question in his tone nonetheless.

“I didn’t want to be rude,” Buck answers nonchalantly. 

Eddie wants to argue that it wouldn’t be rude to correct an assumption. He gets the sense that he’s not getting the full story, and his hopeful heart urges him to find out more. Before he can come up with a way to get Buck elaborate though, he continues anyway.

“Plus, I mean, It’s not the first time someone has assumed we’re together, I just don't see the point in correcting them. It’s not like we’re ever going to see her again. What’s the harm in her thinking we’re together?”

He sounds hesitant. If Eddie’s mind wasn’t so clouded he might question why. As it is though, he just sits there, staring out of the window, as Buck’s words echo through his mind. _What’s the harm?_ It sounds so simple, but it couldn’t be further from it.

The harm is that it’s not true. That Eddie’s heart aches for it to be real and it just isn’t. They aren’t a family and Buck isn’t Chris’ other dad, no matter how much Eddie thinks of him as his co-parent. He’s not Eddie’s anything. Nothing more than a friend, at least.

Still, despite his doubtful mind, the hope in his heart burns brightly. He can’t help but cling to the light, letting it warm him. Clearly he’s missing something, he knows it, he just can’t grasp it.

It doesn’t come up again until they’re alone that night. Christopher is in bed and the TV is on low, playing a documentary about plants that neither of them are paying any attention to. Oddly enough, it’s Buck who brings it up.

“You didn’t deny it either.”

Eddie’s hand freezes at Buck’s words, beer bottle halting halfway to his lips.

“What?” He mutters dumbly. Of course he’d heard, his reaction made that clear to Buck too, and he feels foolish for saying it.

“You didn’t deny it when she thought we were both Christopher’s dads,” Buck presses. His voice is armoured with determination as he scoots across the couch, closer to Eddie.

Eddie finds himself watching the decreased space between their thighs as he avoids Buck’s gaze. He doesn’t know what he’ll blurt out if he looks into Buck’s eyes right now. He already feels like his heart is going to fight it’s way out of his chest and run away while just staring at the couch. If he becomes captivated by Buck’s baby blues, he’s convinced that it will actually do it and he’ll lose control of his heart completely. It will escape him, sprint wildly, barrel head first into Buck, and never return to him. 

Buck, in true Buckley fashion, doesn’t let the silence sit. 

“Eddie, please answer me.” 

His voice cracks around the words, and it’s enough for Eddie to forget himself. His traitorous eyes find Buck’s and he loses his resolve in those deep, pleading pools. They sparkle in the dim light, and Eddie almost reaches out to wipe the building tears. 

It’s clear that Buck isn’t going to let this go. It’s also clear that his heart wants him to take a chance. The flare of hope burns brighter than ever, even as the fear consumes him. The bitter taste of it coats his admission as he forces it from his throat.

“I didn’t want to,” he croaks, the words scratching his throat on the way out, “I couldn't tell her that Buck”

“Why?” Buck sounds desperate now. He leans forwards, his hands like a vice on Eddie’s arm as he anchors himself to him. 

“I don’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Eddie. Please, I need to know. I need to hear it out loud.”

Buck’s words bleed with emotion, and Eddie feels the guilt stab him for having thought about lying. He feels like an idiot for thinking he could brush Buck off with a claim of cluelessness. He knew it wouldn’t work even as he’d begun speaking. 

Hearing Buck now, he finds himself wanting to confess everything even if only to remove Buck’s pain. A tornado of possibilities rips through his mind, tearing apart all of his insecurities. The torn shreds of his worst case scenarios fly around, reforming new pages in his mind as trust calms the storm within him. 

Buck isn’t cruel, he isn’t heartless, surely he wouldn’t be so desperate for Eddie to tell the truth if he planned on rejecting him. 

“I think you know why.”

Eddie lets out a huff of incredulous laughter at the realisation. His shoulders slump, his body leaning towards Buck’s instinctively as all the pieces fit together. The longing and desperation in Buck’s eyes is familiar, and for the first time comforting. It perfectly mirrors the feelings he’s been battling for months. The unrequited desire for something more.

“Yeah, I think I do. But I still need you to tell me Eddie. I need you to tell me that I’m not crazy, and that I can actually have this. I can’t let myself believe it until you tell me, Eddie, because if I’m wrong it’ll-”

“I didn’t deny it because I wanted it to be true,” Eddie says, raw honesty slicing through Buck’s anxieties and halting Buck with his mouth gaping, “and because in my mind it already is.”

Buck’s stunned silence settles over them, yet the air feels lighter. The heaviness is gone from Buck’s eyes and as a single tear spills over, slipping down his cheek , it gets caught on a smile.

“I- do you mean that?”

Eddie takes Buck’s face in his hands gently, slowly moving until their foreheads are pressed together. His thumb strokes the corner of Buck’s lips, feeling the smile twitch under the pad of his finger and the wetness that sits there. He wipes it away tentatively, his movements careful as if he fears wiping the smile away with it. 

“Yeah, Buck. You’ve been like a dad to Chris for a long time. For even longer than I’ve known that I’m in love with you.”

Buck’s hands cling to Eddie’s neck, and with both sets of arms surrounding their faces it feels as if they’re completely wrapped up in each other, cocooned in their own little world, protected and untouchable. 

“I love you too,” Buck’s laugh is one of relief, voice still strained as he chokes on the rush of emotion, “I love both of you so much. I’m so glad I get to have you”

“You already have us, Buck, you always did. I just didn-”

“It’s not your fault. I didn’t say anything either,” Buck insists. He sinks a hand into Eddie’s hair and scratches at his scalp in soothing motions. 

Eddie closes his eyes and turns boneless beneath Buck’s hands. Their words are forgotten into the silence as they sink into each other, enjoying the closeness. He doesn’t know how long they sit like that before sound returns to his ears and he opens his eyes.When he does, Buck’s are still closed and his long, thick lashes are fanned delicately across his cheekbones. The urge to kiss him is overwhelming.

“Buck,” Eddie whispers softly.

Buck hums in reply, reluctant to remove himself from under their blanket of tranquility. Well, he is until Eddie’s thumb moves from the corner of Buck’s mouth and begins stroking softly against his bottom lip. Buck’s eyes snap open at that, sparkling with want as Eddie’s next whisper pulls a gasp from his chest.

“Can I kiss you?”

Buck doesn’t answer the question. At least, he doesn’t do so with words. Instead Eddie witnesses Buck’s eyes closing softly again, his own following soon after as he feels Buck’s lips brush his own. 

It feels like finding home. 

Eddie’s heart doesn’t jump out of his chest, but it soars towards Buck regardless, bestowing him with all his love through that first kiss. He doesn’t know what the future will hold, whether or not they’ll eventually have a little girl they can raise together, but he knows that they’ll decide the future together as a family. For now, they have each other and they both have Christopher and that’s enough no matter what the future holds. 


End file.
